Column: COVID confinement diaries

0
526
bob waite confinement
Confinement has led to too many walks for the Waite dog, Tashi (author's photo)

Please Support Local Advertisers

By Bob Waite

DAY 1: This is fun! Just me, my spousal unit, and our yellow lab. “Quality time.”

DAY 3: Called United Airlines to request a refund. Offered a credit to be used by June 15.

DAY 7: Decide to catalog possessions “just in case.” Starting with paintings, prints, posters.

DAY 9: Noticed dog has lost weight. Seven walks a day too many?

DAY 11: Called United Airlines to request a refund. Offered a credit to be used by August 15.

DAY 13: Noticed wife and I have gained weight. Seven tubes of Pringles a day too many?

DAY 14: Stopped listening to Trump’s daily briefings on Fox. Continued to listen to Charlie Baker’s on WBUR. Able to reduce Prozac dosage.

Please Support Local Advertisers

DAY 15: Contacted Ipswich artist Colleen Kidder to confirm name of our Crane Beach painting. “Walking the Beach” she responded. “But,” she added, “You need a beach sticker to view it.”

DAY 17: Called United Airlines to request a refund. Offered a credit to be used by December 31, plus one free checked bag.

DAY 19: Discovered I have an Arthur Wesley Dow painting on loan from the Ipswich Public Library. Always thought it was my Dad’s. Accumulated fines from Oct. 27, 1964, at two cents per day total $405.62. Decide to wait for the next amnesty.

DAY 22: After three weeks without a cleaning lady, pond scum forming on the surface of the toilet bowl water. Realize we have no idea where the cleaning implements are stored. Rip house apart.

DAY 24: Pond scum rose out of the basin and chased the dog around the house. Have cornered it in the dining room.

DAY 25: Breakthrough! Found cleaning stuff under the sink! Also, COSTCO delivered four pallets of Pringles! Best confinement day ever!

bob waite confinement
Bob and Karen Waite

DAY 27: Spouse wonders aloud if, a year from now, there will be more babies born … or more divorces.

DAY 28: Watched the 2004 World Series on NESN for the 10th time. Amazed that Cardinals’ pitchers never seem to learn from their mistakes.

DAY 33: Finished art works possession inventory. Now busy arranging condiments — alphabetically — in the fridge.

DAY 37: Noticed my wife’s hair has turned white. Told her she looks just like Barbara Bush. Odd. She took the dog for a walk … and didn’t come back.

DAY 42: Miss the dog.

DAY 44: Brief hailstorm damages our Ford Fiesta parked in the driveway. Might have been a mistake to have filled the garage with 5,000 rolls of toilet paper.

DAY 51: Called United Airlines to request a refund. Offered a credit good until December 31, 2030, three free checked bags … and a 25% equity position in the airline.

Day 61: Decide to reverse the condiments, Z to A.

DAY 67: Wife and dog return. Her hair is back to its original black. Dog has trimmed nails. I surmise they traveled to Georgia. 

DAY 71: And counting …

Bob Waite is a former North Shore Weeklies editor and columnist. He served as press secretary to senators Edward Brooke and Bob Dole and headed up public affairs functions at Ford, IBM, CIBC, and Canada Post. More of his columns can be found here.

We Need Your Help

The Ipswich Local News is your community newspaper and website. The company was established as a non-profit corporation. That means two things:
  • 1. We are actually required by the IRS to fund at least 35% of our operations with donations
  • 2. Your donation is tax deductible.
The newspaper is mailed free every week to each house and business in Ipswich. If you think local news is important, please contribute. Any amount will help, no matter how small.

You can contribute online here.

If you want to send a check instead, please mail it to:
Ipswich Local News
PO Box 183
Ipswich, MA 01938.